Written By : Antonia Gabriele
Happy 2018!! I hope everyone is enjoying the new year. This article is a little different from what we at Moet & Manolos usually talk about. This one is all about breakups. I wanted to share some of my tips when going through one. Breakups are kind of weird, some are a lot worse than others… but we all go through them at some point or another. I want to start off by saying, no matter the situation – breakups are always hard. Everyone deals with them differently but at the end of the day you are going to be just fine. Here are some of the ways I think will help you get through it!
Really break away
At first, this is going to be hard. After a breakup, you usually want to still talk to the person or say “let’s be friends”. Honestly, it’s not that easy. Some people really are able to remain in contact and even become friends but after breaking up it’s important to have some time apart. This will really help you move past your relationship and it will give you some time to yourself. This means NO contact though, really. No DM’s, no calls, no texts, no tagging them in memes or whatever. This will make it possible to start a new (friendly) relationship in the future, that is if you want one. If you don’t break away for a bit you won’t be able to really figure out how you are feeling and heal. Healing is important!!!!
Clean out their belongings (triggers)
Belongings your ex left at your place, gave you as a gift, or just pictures of the two of you together are seriously such bad triggers. You don’t necessarily have to get rid of them or throw them out, but if you’re not going to – set them aside in a box and hide them away or give them to a friend to set aside for a while. Looking at pictures, wearing their clothing, or staring at that gift they gave you for your last birthday is just going to make you think of them more than you need to during this difficult time.
After a really hard break up, getting up and out of bed can literally be the hardest thing EVER. It’s so easy to sit in bed all day, watch sad movies and sulk. Maybe it’s ok to for a day but after 48 hours it’s really time to GET UP. Seriously though. It is so important to get up, eat, shower, get dressed, and get moving!! Going for a walk, sitting with friends, working out or maybe even some shopping 😉 can be super beneficial. Really doing anything that isn’t sitting in your room alone (and that doesn’t include getting drunk off wine) will make you feel so much better, trust me.
Acknowledge the way you are feeling
This is probably the hardest part but dealing with a breakup can last for a while. It’s normal to feel sad for days, weeks, or even months. That’s ok though! Allow yourself to grieve the person that you lost, the relationship you lost, and the memories you made. It’s also super easy to push your feelings down and pretend you are feeling ok. It may make you feel better for a split second but you’re going to explode after a while. It’s good to acknowledge the way you’re feeling. Whether that be sadness or anger, you should talk about it, cry about it, or even yell about it if you want to. Realizing the way you are feeling will allow you to eventually move past those feelings and on to new, positive ones.
It is important after a break up to surround yourself with friends and family. Surround yourself with people that will provide you with positive feedback, will listen to what you have to say and will support you no matter what. It is ok to rely on your friends and family, they are there for you!
Ok… I know we all live on social media but after a breakup it can be extremely damaging. Taking a break and even turning your phone completely off can be super helpful. If you don’t want to do that (sorry for saying this?) but unfollowing your ex IS OK! I know it’s hard, because a part of you will say, “but I want to see what he/she is posting” or “I need to see who is commenting” and so on but that will only make things worse for you. You don’t have to block them (or you can if you want to) but just unfollowing them will really help. That way you don’t have to scroll past their pictures (which are just another trigger) and you won’t drive yourself crazy when you see some girl or guy commenting a fire and heart eyes emoji on their selfies.
Write (remember all the bad things… lol)
This kind of goes hand in hand with acknowledging the way you are feeling. Writing down these thoughts can help you release a lot. No matter what the writing may be. It could just be your thoughts, poems, or even write your ex a letter describing how you feel… just don’t send it! While doing this, you should think about all the good things but also really think about the bad times or little things that may have bothered you.
Get yourself back!
A breakup or even just a relationship can be draining. It is easy to lose a sense of yourself when you go through something that is hurtful and damaging. Once you get past the sadness you will get a little motivated, and you should try to stay motivated. Motivate yourself to become better for yourself, not for someone else. Do things that you love again and that gets you excited.
I know maybe some things I’ve said sound a bit cheesy or maybe even dramatic, but I know that these are all things that I have felt and gone through myself. I don’t doubt that other people have too… just want to keep it real with you guys :). I hope some of these bring you hope and a little bit of relief.